Albany-Schenectady-Troy, NY Family Law Blog

Custody agreements for children are never easy to work out. Factor in the growing complexity of the details now associated with drafting them, and it makes the task even more difficult.

In the past, the focus of custody agreements involved which parent the children would spend their time. But a growing trend now in custody agreements is the issue of religion.

Religion is a huge part of many families' lives. Parents wish for their children to continue to practice or partake in religious practices, divorce or no divorce. But when dealing with the issue of religion it is not enough to simply state which domination children should be raised - the level of complexity in the agreements has grown tremendously. Some agreements even detail as to who should pay for a bar mitzvah or where the children should attend Sunday school.

Supreme Court judges in New York state calculate spousal support differently than the family courts do. Because the higher court's calculation also allows "spousal support" to be awarded to estranged spouses that are not yet formally divorced, the New York City Bar Association has recommended that formula also be used in state courts.

Currently in the state courts, the temporary spousal support calculation only takes into consideration the needs of the spouse with the lower income. The proposed changes would take both spouses' income into consideration and calculate the amount of spousal support using a mathematical formula.

This change would assist low-income, self-represented spouses in proving to judges their need for spousal support, according to the New York City Bar Association.

As we head into the holiday season, it is a good time to reiterate the importance of divorced parents being flexible.

Holidays are a stressful time as it is. This stress is even more exacerbated when trying to determine who the kids will spend Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas and New Year's with. You clearly want to spend time with your kids and they most likely want to spend time with you, but they cannot be in two places at once. And unless you and your ex have an amicable enough relationship to spend those days together, chances are your children are feeling torn about who they get to spend the various holidays with.

To reduce stress not only for your children, but also for yourself, be flexible.

When most people hear about a single parent raising a child alone, they picture a woman. While single mothers may have been the norm, there has been a definite increase in single fathers. According to the 2010 census, in the last 10 years there has been a 27 percent increase in families led by a single father -- almost three times the growth of households headed by single moms.

In 1950, single dads -- something only seen on shows like My Three Sons and Andy Griffith -- accounted for only 1.1 percent of all households. Fifty years later, that number had grown to 6.3 percent. And now, just ten years later, it has jumped once again: 8 percent of all American households with children are parented by a single father.

Previously we have blogged about how, despite the passage of the Marriage Equality Act, same-sex couples in New York will continue to face challenges when it comes to having their marriage recognized in other states. Implications also existed for same-sex couples divorcing and enforcement of those decrees.

Those are not the only family-law related challenges faced by gay couples in New York -- another major battle occurs when it comes to parental rights.

While many New Yorkers saw the passage of the Marriage Equality Act as a victory for same-sex couples, others noted that marriage equality for same-sex couples will only be obtained with the repeal of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

Under DOMA, states have the right to not recognize gay marriage and same-sex unions as a valid marriage. Strictly defined, marriage is the "legal union between one man and one woman." Given that federal law trumps state law, when states like New York enact their own laws on same-sex marriage, uncertainty remains for the couples when it comes to how their marriage is recognized by states that have not legalized same-sex marriage.

By 12:01 a.m. on Sunday, July 24, the first same-sex couple said "I do," as New York became the sixth state in the nation to recognize gay marriage.

Across the state, hundreds of domestic partners stood in line at state clerks' offices for their number to be called so their long-awaited weddings could begin. Typically, couples have to wait 24 hours after receiving their marriage license before they can be married. Judges in New York City and other areas of the state waived the mandatory 24-hour waiting period so that many of same-sex couples could exchange "I dos" minutes after getting their marriage licenses.

The first couple to marry in Manhattan had been together for over 23 years. After the ceremony the 77 year old and 85 year old raised their arms in celebration, holding out their white and blue marriage certificate. The 77-year-old woman said, "It's mind-boggling. The fact that's it's happening to us -- that we are finally legal and can do this like everyone else."

In my recent interview with CBS 6, I spoke about the recent passage of New York's Marriage Equality Act.

The Marriage Equality Act unilaterally is a huge step forward for same-sex couples in New York State. Effective July 24, 2011, the Act instills the right to obtain a marriage license and to marry. Under the Act, same-sex couples will be able to:

• Enter into binding prenuptial agreements
• Visit their spouse in the hospital
• Be covered under a spouse's health insurance
• Enjoy property ownership and inheritance rights

These are only a few of the rights that same-sex couples in New York will now have.

Depending on how it is measured, the American divorce rate is roughly three times the rate of divorce in Great Britain and France. According to statistics, 23 percent of Americans are divorced within five years of marriage. In Great Britain and France, only 8 percent of married couples are divorced within five years of tying the knot.

One possible explanation for the difference is America's "No-Fault Divorce" law. In every state (New York was the last to pass the law in 2010), couples can file for a no-fault divorce. This essentially means that they can be divorced without a traditional reason, like on the grounds of adultery or physical abuse. Now one individual in the marriage can say it's over, and it will be over - regardless of whether that is what the other spouse wants. Eighteen states require a waiting period before the divorce can be granted, in order to allow the couple time to reconcile.